Again it has been awhile since we have posted an update on the blog. I have never been one to write a Christmas letter, but this year it seems timely that we give an update, as well as wish all of you whom we care about so much a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
As in typical Christmas letter fashion, I hope you don't mind if I start out talking a little bit about our kids. They are an integral part of this journey as well, and they inspire Art every day with laughter and positivity. They are learning what it means to depend on their heavenly Father and that answered prayers often are not in direct response to a specific request. They are constantly watching Art to determine his mood and our response to ongoing medical news. We try and help them to understand as much as possible, while not limiting their minds to a medical prognosis that is not as positive as we would like it to be. Their simple childlike faith challenges us and is a beautiful example for us to follow.
Makenzie is mid-way through her Sophmore year at Calvin. She has definitely settled in there, has declared her major of Communications with a Spanish and Art minor, and is making good friends whom she loves dearly. She is fierce in monitoring our attitude toward cancer and chemo. If she sees us getting down or negative, she quickly argues all the reasons we need to be positive. She is an extremely capable young woman and is a huge help whenever we have the pleasure of having her
at home. Her laugh dominates our home when she's around and we can't help but join in. She makes sure we keep up all our family traditions and we love that about her! She monitors our healthy lifestyle and has recently informed us she's training for a 1/2 marathon in the spring. Art and I are not runners, so we are blown away by this. We are so proud of her and are enjoying watching where God is leading her.
Olivia is a Junior at Glenbard East High School. While she misses Timothy Christian, she has experienced numerous wonderful opportunities at this school. She has some incredible teachers and is a part of an absolutely amazing choir program. Her concerts are beautiful and she will be traveling to California over spring break with the entire music program from her school. I now understand how tragic it is when music programs are cut from schools, because it is such a source of joy for Olivia at school. Her Director is also a Christian and called us immediately after finding out Art's diagnosis to let us know he and his small group would be praying. Olivia continues to struggle with seizures and has actually experienced a seizure during a concert. Her director assured us that this would in no way limit Olivia's participation and that they would do everything they could to accommodate her and make her safe if this would happen again. Olivia has a keen eye for giving her Dad the care he needs. Her sweetest gesture is rubbing his feet with therapeutic lotion to help ease the pain and sensitivity. Art is her source of laughter and joy and it's a beautiful relationship to watch.
A.J. is......well, A.J. He is a constant source of love and sunshine in our home. He is 12 years old and is in 6th grade at Timothy Christian. Art and he have ongoing discussions about sports and share a love for sports trivia that often dominate our supper conversations and car rides. A.J. plays basketball, football and baseball thrown in with some piano lessons to nurture his love for music. His activities have been the greatest source of diversion for us in this past year. But, it's his constant smile, infectious laugh, bubbling energy, and ongoing affection to us that keeps us positive and maintains a high degree of happiness in our home.
Art and I continue to work at Republic Services and ABS Graphics. We have been blessed with incredible bosses and co-workers who are highly sensitive and supportive to our battle right now. We know God placed us in these positions at these places for a reason.
All right.....now for the cancer stuff. In about one month it will be a year since Art's diagnosis. We just finished up a 3rd phase of aggressive chemo treatments in the battle against cancer. After a scan earlier this fall revealed that the cancer has not grown but has not shrunk any further either, we decided to follow the doctor’s recommendation to begin another series of more aggressive chemo treatments. The doctor wanted to attack it as much as possible while Art was strong and feeling good. Art tolerated these past 8 weeks of chemo quite well. He continues to experience pain and limitations in his feet, and fights ongoing fatigue and other side effects, but again, we realize the effects could be so much worse. Art has been able to work and participate in most of our normal activities. In looking at him, it's often hard to believe this battle is going on inside his body. We will have another scan December 26, and a follow-up doctor visit on January 3. We feel encouraged by the consistent lab reports Art receives before every treatment and we have very strong hope for a good report. As always, we covet your prayers.
Olivia is a Junior at Glenbard East High School. While she misses Timothy Christian, she has experienced numerous wonderful opportunities at this school. She has some incredible teachers and is a part of an absolutely amazing choir program. Her concerts are beautiful and she will be traveling to California over spring break with the entire music program from her school. I now understand how tragic it is when music programs are cut from schools, because it is such a source of joy for Olivia at school. Her Director is also a Christian and called us immediately after finding out Art's diagnosis to let us know he and his small group would be praying. Olivia continues to struggle with seizures and has actually experienced a seizure during a concert. Her director assured us that this would in no way limit Olivia's participation and that they would do everything they could to accommodate her and make her safe if this would happen again. Olivia has a keen eye for giving her Dad the care he needs. Her sweetest gesture is rubbing his feet with therapeutic lotion to help ease the pain and sensitivity. Art is her source of laughter and joy and it's a beautiful relationship to watch.
A.J. is......well, A.J. He is a constant source of love and sunshine in our home. He is 12 years old and is in 6th grade at Timothy Christian. Art and he have ongoing discussions about sports and share a love for sports trivia that often dominate our supper conversations and car rides. A.J. plays basketball, football and baseball thrown in with some piano lessons to nurture his love for music. His activities have been the greatest source of diversion for us in this past year. But, it's his constant smile, infectious laugh, bubbling energy, and ongoing affection to us that keeps us positive and maintains a high degree of happiness in our home.
Art and I continue to work at Republic Services and ABS Graphics. We have been blessed with incredible bosses and co-workers who are highly sensitive and supportive to our battle right now. We know God placed us in these positions at these places for a reason.
All right.....now for the cancer stuff. In about one month it will be a year since Art's diagnosis. We just finished up a 3rd phase of aggressive chemo treatments in the battle against cancer. After a scan earlier this fall revealed that the cancer has not grown but has not shrunk any further either, we decided to follow the doctor’s recommendation to begin another series of more aggressive chemo treatments. The doctor wanted to attack it as much as possible while Art was strong and feeling good. Art tolerated these past 8 weeks of chemo quite well. He continues to experience pain and limitations in his feet, and fights ongoing fatigue and other side effects, but again, we realize the effects could be so much worse. Art has been able to work and participate in most of our normal activities. In looking at him, it's often hard to believe this battle is going on inside his body. We will have another scan December 26, and a follow-up doctor visit on January 3. We feel encouraged by the consistent lab reports Art receives before every treatment and we have very strong hope for a good report. As always, we covet your prayers.
I have to admit that sometimes I hesitate to post on the blog, because I know it truly reflects how I’m feeling at a given moment. In reality, if I read my blog post 1 day later, or even an hour after it’s posted, my feelings may totally change. Ideally, I’d like to reserve my blog posts for times that I’m feeling really positive, connected to God in prayer and meditation, wise, grateful, strong, joyful, filled with the Spirit, in love with the world and all those in it, assured of a bright future, etc. because we hope to be an encouragement to others as we walk through this. But, the truth is, whether you have something like cancer or are simply enduring some of the ongoing ups and downs of life, those moments when you feel completely positive and encouraged about everything in your life are often few and far between.
Throughout this journey, it's our goal to always try to choose joy and happiness even in the tough circumstances. We don't always feel it, and at some points we are downright miserable (just ask our kids), but we are embracing life exactly where we are, trying to ignore the insignificant stuff that can so easily overcome us, cutting each other some slack because we all have bad moments and make mistakes, and choosing to smile even in the midst of tears.
Throughout this journey, it's our goal to always try to choose joy and happiness even in the tough circumstances. We don't always feel it, and at some points we are downright miserable (just ask our kids), but we are embracing life exactly where we are, trying to ignore the insignificant stuff that can so easily overcome us, cutting each other some slack because we all have bad moments and make mistakes, and choosing to smile even in the midst of tears.
So as we share this walk with you, we hope you see and believe that God will give you what you need for each day—that’s what we are finding out. Our strength and emotions are all over the place, sometimes in the same breath--that’s why we ask you to join us in praying for strength for each day (maybe each moment) and bright hope for tomorrow.
Grace. That's what the title of this blog is and that is truly what has been evident to us through this past year. If you see anything by watching us go through this, we hope you will see God's Grace. That's what's getting us through this and this is our prayer for all of you. That you would experience God's Grace through every moment of 2014 and that His Grace would be shared with others through you. We can only attribute the blessings we have received in this journey to God's Grace being showered down on us in so many ways. It is impossible to share all the moments where this has become so clear to us.
Grace. That's what the title of this blog is and that is truly what has been evident to us through this past year. If you see anything by watching us go through this, we hope you will see God's Grace. That's what's getting us through this and this is our prayer for all of you. That you would experience God's Grace through every moment of 2014 and that His Grace would be shared with others through you. We can only attribute the blessings we have received in this journey to God's Grace being showered down on us in so many ways. It is impossible to share all the moments where this has become so clear to us.
One of the most clear moments of God's Grace is in the attitude I see displayed daily in Art. A little history about my husband--It has always been the little stuff that can really agitate him and get on his nerves. Well, cancer and chemo is all about a bunch of little stuff affecting your body in weird ways. In the past, Art would have probably lost it over all the inconveniences, annoyances and strange and painful effects as a result of the cancer and chemo. He’s amazingly letting so much of that go. As he has laid next to me in bed many nights wrestling with wires coming out of his chest from the chemo pump, and a fanny pack laying next to him in bed, not knowing how best to assume a comfortable position, wondering what side effects would pop out this time, he rarely complains. Those were the little things that would have put him over the edge before—and now I stand amazed at the Grace God has given him to be able to handle this. His patience has increased. He’s even more patient with the kids and me, and makes it evident how much he appreciates so many moments with us. My thoughts are often on the big things that I want to accomplish while we can….his thoughts are on the small and beautiful moments that he wants to experience daily.
I don't share this about him because cancer has suddenly made him perfect--he isn't!! :) Our relationships have not suddenly been made problem-free. Just ask him about our car ride the other day when we thought I was going to lose it. I guess I share it because we see God giving us what we need, beyond us even knowing we needed it.
I have to share a text I received from him last week. I could tell a lot what was on his mind, and I just asked him to share his thoughts and explain what feelings were making the tears come so easily. I thought he would share with me how anxious he was, or how tired he was from the side effects, or that he was worried and sad about the thought of what the future could bring. I have to admit those thoughts overcome me at times. Instead he says, "It isn't sadness as much as my constant struggle with the feelings of blessings I receive that I don't deserve. I don't know how to get past the humbling feeling. The kindness and love shown by so many. The thought of our family and how happy I am despite all the "_ _ _ _" going on with me. The fact that I can still find such joy in our daughters and in our son. I am amazed by God's Grace. It makes everything o.k. I continue to be in wonder at all of it." That attitude can only be experienced by God's Grace, and the goodness that He works out in the midst of the most difficult times.
We realize that while we have experienced much healing and blessings in this past year, there are those close to us who have experienced great pain and loss and feel the burden of that immensely, especially at this time of the year. We are certain that they have many moments where they are not feeling blessings beings worked out in adversity. It may be impossible for them to see God's Grace and Love through the pain right now. Our hearts ache for you and we can only offer our love, our hearts wide open to listen, and our imperfect words and support to help you through it.
On the top of our thanksgiving prayer list is all of you. As I close this blog (finally), we cannot express our gratitude enough for all the love we have received from all of you. We could not get through this without all your support and your prayers. We wish all of you beautiful moments with those you love, an overwhelming awareness of God's Grace and His amazing Love for you, and true joy that encompasses both good and difficult times.
Praying for strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love,
Kris (and Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
