As you can already tell from the title of this blog, I don't have good news.
Today we discovered after CT scans and MRI's to get to the bottom of Art's severe headaches, that the cancer has spread to the brain. There are at least 6 tumors in vital areas. Two of them are 2-3cm in diameter and are located more at the surface. The remainder are smaller but deeper in the brain. The doctors are amazed that Art is not experiencing more side effects other than headaches and some dizziness. The neurologists say the tumors are inoperable. The oncologist wants to begin 10 days of radiation to the brain. They have already begun treating Art with steroids to reduce swelling around the tumors.
Tonight Art is resting in the hospital. Tomorrow morning we have more conversations and more decisions to make. There's no getting around it, we are incredibly sad and scared. I wonder why so many of the devotionals I've read in recent days have been about trust. If there's any time for that, it's now. And we are desperately trying right now.
Art is still in fight mode. He's ready to take on the radiation and was actually in good spirits at the hospital, making me laugh with the look on his face as medical staff performed some unpleasant tests. We were also grateful for a new reality show called "Dating Naked" which served as a great distraction as we were checked into ICU.
In the midst of this very bad day, we still have hope. We still have faith. We still believe in a God who is so good and loves us so much that He planned a perfect life for us beyond this world we know. We claim God's promises each day, that He will never leave us or forsake us. He has been faithful through this journey. He goes before us and will remain faithful. That is what we trust.
Yesterday, a Facebook friend wrote this verse as her status and it spoke to me and resonates with me today..."When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2 I have to admit we feel a little burned right now, but we know we will not be consumed! (This is called Kris giving herself a pep talk!)
We know "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23) and we still ask you to pray for a miracle. We know we can "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) and we ask you to storm the gates of heaven with confidence on our behalf!
We are still celebrating each moment, each smile, each laugh, each beautiful conversation that allows us to get to know those we love more. God rejoices over us, and we rejoice over all of you as you love us and care for us so compassionately. We are humbled at Christ's love shown so generously by so many of you.
I think our prayer needs are obvious and vast. Thank you for praying.
Praying for strength for each day and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Can we please get off this roller coaster ride?
I'm writing this blog from underneath the beautifully strung lights over our patio that Art surprised me with for our 25th anniversary. He wanted to bring a touch of Italy to me, since we could not go to Italy as we had always dreamed for this special anniversary. Art has gone to bed for some much needed rest after a very eventful week, some of which some of you already know bits and pieces about. Art and I just returned from a brief but beautiful weekend in Lake Geneva where we spent some time at Art's cousin's home with his siblings, his Aunt and some of Art's cousins as well as friends. Our kids were well taken care of by their oldest sister (Makenzie) as well as by other cousins of their own. Definitely a weekend filled with love and kindness shown by so many individuals who are precious to us.
I've waited to write an update until after our last doctor appointment on Friday, when I could give you a full report where we stand. I hope that by providing a detailed status to those of you who read this, we can talk about other important things when we actually get to see each other in person--like how's your kid's team doing, what's the best movie you've seen lately, any good new recipes, and (Art's favorite) "Do you have a joke?"
Here goes.....A week from this past Friday, Art had a scan to see if the radioactive beads which were injected into his liver were working to shrink the cancer. That scan unfortunately revealed that although the cancer was not significantly growing in the half of the liver that was treated, cancer was significantly growing elsewhere. The cancer in the gastric area, where the esophagus enters the stomach had grown, and the lymph nodes, which are also cancerous, had grown as well. Although we were extremely disappointed in this news, I can't say we were completely surprised. Art had begun to feel signs of cancer growth and was beginning to feel as he did soon after he was diagnosed. He was having pain in his stomach with extreme fatigue. He was also beginning to have some difficulty swallowing--this was new and scary.
Our oncologist at University of Chicago was firm in his recommendation that Art immediately start chemo again as soon as possible. Unfortunately we are now in a position of playing catch-up to try and shrink the cancer back to where we were a couple of months of ago. Art has already received a heavy dose of chemo this past Wednesday--the same chemo he was on most recently that seemed to have a positive effect. The side effects of the cancer have now transitioned into side effects of the chemo, and he's been battling nausea, chills and overall fatigue.
This past Friday we went to our doctor at Northwestern who examined the scan of the liver more closely. He did see some slight tumor shrinkage in the half of the liver that was treated. He said that it was fairly early to tell how much the radioactive beads were working. We will have another scan in early September to determine where we are at. We will then need to decide with the doctors if Art's body would be able to tolerate both chemo and radiation at the same time. Both doctors agreed this would be incredibly hard on Art's body.
After this appointment we were reminded of how aggressive this cancer is, and that Art cannot be off of chemo. From the beginning we were told that Art would never be able to stop chemo, but we still hoped and prayed for something different. I couldn't help but think of this as an ongoing war. While we attempted guerrilla warfare on the liver, cancer's tactic was to steadily but aggressively attack and make advances on all the other areas. This battle cancer won. But the war is not over. The chemo is an overall approach to attack the cancer cells throughout his body. Our friend Diane Dykema once told me, "Chemo sucks. But chemo kills cancer. So, YAY CHEMO!" We couldn't agree more.
I have to admit, we had a few days of a lot of sadness. But then, (what's the phrase???), you pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. Living in that dark place is not a nice place to be. We have much to celebrate. Art has always loved the sunrise (way before cancer entered our lives) because it symbolizes a new chance, the beginning, not the end. So we remain grateful for each day and will continue to do so. Believe me, we aren't walking around being all sunshine and smiles to each other. Sometimes it's just hard to look at each other because we see pain, worry and fear in each other's eyes. But, we are choosing to celebrate every day, even when our smile is through clenched teeth.
I wish I had tremendous words of faith to share with you right now. In this past week I have hardly had the strength to go to God in the midst of disappointment and sadness. But thank goodness, He comes to us and meets us where we are. He can handle this--we can't. Right now we can't hold on, but we know He's holding onto us with strong and eternal hands that are engrained with lines of love and grace and compassion.
Our prayer requests are fairly simple: 1. Healing for Art 2. Freedom from fear and anxiety, for Art, myself, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J., as well as for our parents whose hearts are so heavy as they share the burdens of their children.
Praying for strength for each day and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
I've waited to write an update until after our last doctor appointment on Friday, when I could give you a full report where we stand. I hope that by providing a detailed status to those of you who read this, we can talk about other important things when we actually get to see each other in person--like how's your kid's team doing, what's the best movie you've seen lately, any good new recipes, and (Art's favorite) "Do you have a joke?"
Here goes.....A week from this past Friday, Art had a scan to see if the radioactive beads which were injected into his liver were working to shrink the cancer. That scan unfortunately revealed that although the cancer was not significantly growing in the half of the liver that was treated, cancer was significantly growing elsewhere. The cancer in the gastric area, where the esophagus enters the stomach had grown, and the lymph nodes, which are also cancerous, had grown as well. Although we were extremely disappointed in this news, I can't say we were completely surprised. Art had begun to feel signs of cancer growth and was beginning to feel as he did soon after he was diagnosed. He was having pain in his stomach with extreme fatigue. He was also beginning to have some difficulty swallowing--this was new and scary.
Our oncologist at University of Chicago was firm in his recommendation that Art immediately start chemo again as soon as possible. Unfortunately we are now in a position of playing catch-up to try and shrink the cancer back to where we were a couple of months of ago. Art has already received a heavy dose of chemo this past Wednesday--the same chemo he was on most recently that seemed to have a positive effect. The side effects of the cancer have now transitioned into side effects of the chemo, and he's been battling nausea, chills and overall fatigue.
This past Friday we went to our doctor at Northwestern who examined the scan of the liver more closely. He did see some slight tumor shrinkage in the half of the liver that was treated. He said that it was fairly early to tell how much the radioactive beads were working. We will have another scan in early September to determine where we are at. We will then need to decide with the doctors if Art's body would be able to tolerate both chemo and radiation at the same time. Both doctors agreed this would be incredibly hard on Art's body.
After this appointment we were reminded of how aggressive this cancer is, and that Art cannot be off of chemo. From the beginning we were told that Art would never be able to stop chemo, but we still hoped and prayed for something different. I couldn't help but think of this as an ongoing war. While we attempted guerrilla warfare on the liver, cancer's tactic was to steadily but aggressively attack and make advances on all the other areas. This battle cancer won. But the war is not over. The chemo is an overall approach to attack the cancer cells throughout his body. Our friend Diane Dykema once told me, "Chemo sucks. But chemo kills cancer. So, YAY CHEMO!" We couldn't agree more.
I have to admit, we had a few days of a lot of sadness. But then, (what's the phrase???), you pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. Living in that dark place is not a nice place to be. We have much to celebrate. Art has always loved the sunrise (way before cancer entered our lives) because it symbolizes a new chance, the beginning, not the end. So we remain grateful for each day and will continue to do so. Believe me, we aren't walking around being all sunshine and smiles to each other. Sometimes it's just hard to look at each other because we see pain, worry and fear in each other's eyes. But, we are choosing to celebrate every day, even when our smile is through clenched teeth.
I wish I had tremendous words of faith to share with you right now. In this past week I have hardly had the strength to go to God in the midst of disappointment and sadness. But thank goodness, He comes to us and meets us where we are. He can handle this--we can't. Right now we can't hold on, but we know He's holding onto us with strong and eternal hands that are engrained with lines of love and grace and compassion.
Our prayer requests are fairly simple: 1. Healing for Art 2. Freedom from fear and anxiety, for Art, myself, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J., as well as for our parents whose hearts are so heavy as they share the burdens of their children.
Praying for strength for each day and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Monday, June 9, 2014
Something New
We have some new developments to share with you...
Today, as Art is snoring away in recovery, I write to you from Northwestern Hospital in Chicago--a NEW place where we have not yet received treatment. Art just received the Y-90 therasphere beads which we wrote about previously. This was the procedure recommended by City of Hope as a new course of action. We are fortunate that the place with the most extensive experience and advanced knowledge about this treatment is right in our backyard at Northwestern.
We were not sure when exactly this treatment would take place, but based on the latest news--that Art's most recent chemo regime actually had a positive effect, we were recommended to move ahead with the radioactive beads at this time. Yes, you heard right! The most recent chemo actually shrunk some of the tumors and the remainder stayed stable. Although very small shrinkage, this is NEW and a good report--we have not had positive results of the treatment since last summer. We are not only grateful for the improved report, we are grateful for consistent recommendations from our doctors that this is the path to take at this time, and that Northwestern is the place at which to do it. These are direct answers to our prayers. Having to choose one Doctor's recommendation over another, is not the kind of decision we want to be faced with.
The doctors feel this is a good time to try something NEW. It allows Art's body time to heal and recover from about 16 months of ongoing chemo. This last chemo regime has been quite hard on Art's body. Pain and sensitivity in his feet, hands and skin have increased, as well as swelling in his legs and feet. Fatigue is an ongoing battle, but it's amazing what he's still able to accomplish. Although the thought of going back on this chemo is not that attractive to Art due to the side effects, we know that this chemo worked to help control the cancer and this continues to be a future option in our ongoing fight.
Being that the cancer is more controlled at this point, the doctors can attack in another way with the radioactive theraspheres. These are injected directly into the liver through an arterial catheter in the groin. They will only inject the theraspheres into half of the liver--the half that has the most cancer. Because of the extent of the cancer in the liver, they have to be very careful to preserve the good tissue to keep his liver functioning as normally as possible. After one month, we will have a CT scan to evaluate the success of the treatment. Our oncologist at University of Chicago and interventional radiologist at Northwestern will then determine the best course of action. If successful, they will treat the other half of the liver, with subsequent treatments to the entire liver as it continues to prove successful. If unsuccessful, we will most likely go back to the previous chemo regime that seemed to be having some success.
The biggest side effects of this treatment will most likely be fatigue (that's nothing new!) with the possibility of nausea and abdominal pain. The risk is damage to good liver tissue, but our doctors are optimistic that this treatment could shrink the cancer.
Emotionally, I feel these past couple months have taken their toll on Art. He's simply tired--tired of going to the hospital for treatment every other week, tired of feeling tired, tired of feeling sore, tired of thinking that this will never end, tired of trying to keep his game face on when he just wants to be crabby. As I've said in the past, his attitude has been amazing--I know that he could only keep his positivity through the power of our mighty God who accomplishes more than we can ever imagine and who allows us to have joy beyond our circumstances. But I also know that he's only human, and discouragement and worry sets in. I ask that you continue to lift Art up in prayer, for both miraculous healing and emotional strength, hope and comfort. Please pray for our children--Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.--as well as myself as we sometimes struggle to find the best ways to support him as well as each other through this ongoing, difficult journey.
(Break to go home from the hospital...)
I'm finishing this blog from home, as I watch Art beginning to feel uncomfortable from the radiation. It's not a good place to be for either of us, and I have to admit that we finish this up through tears and anxiety.
The title of this blog post is "Something New". Although something new can bring hope, it can also bring fear. I think we all can relate to that. When you live with cancer, you are constantly battling fear of the unknown, fear of the possibility that this may not work, fear of the possible harm the toxic substances being put into your body could do, etc. We are brought to our knees again, searching for promises that will comfort us as fear creeps in. Right now I just need to be reminded that our omnipotent, Heavenly Father, who has remained faithful to his promises in the past, who gives us strength and hope for each day, is the same Heavenly Father who goes before us and will give us what we need for each day going forward. It can't be any more clear than this--"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8) And from Isaiah 41:13, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.' "
This August 5, Art and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. 17 months ago we didn't know if we would reach this milestone and we are overwhelmed with gratitude. When you get married, you sure don't know the ups and downs in store for your married life. Although we wouldn't wish cancer on any couple, we do wish the beauty that comes from a far deeper appreciation of sharing your life, your faith, and your children with your best friend.
As we move into the summer months, we hope for many fear-less moments of joy and laughter and new, beautiful memories with family and friends, for many moments where Art is feeling strong and energetic, for moments filled with love and hope, for moments where we can truly enjoy each other and this incredible world God has blessed us with. We hope those things for all of you as well. And, of course, we hope for healing!
Praying for strength for each day and bright hope for tomorrow!
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Today, as Art is snoring away in recovery, I write to you from Northwestern Hospital in Chicago--a NEW place where we have not yet received treatment. Art just received the Y-90 therasphere beads which we wrote about previously. This was the procedure recommended by City of Hope as a new course of action. We are fortunate that the place with the most extensive experience and advanced knowledge about this treatment is right in our backyard at Northwestern.
We were not sure when exactly this treatment would take place, but based on the latest news--that Art's most recent chemo regime actually had a positive effect, we were recommended to move ahead with the radioactive beads at this time. Yes, you heard right! The most recent chemo actually shrunk some of the tumors and the remainder stayed stable. Although very small shrinkage, this is NEW and a good report--we have not had positive results of the treatment since last summer. We are not only grateful for the improved report, we are grateful for consistent recommendations from our doctors that this is the path to take at this time, and that Northwestern is the place at which to do it. These are direct answers to our prayers. Having to choose one Doctor's recommendation over another, is not the kind of decision we want to be faced with.
The doctors feel this is a good time to try something NEW. It allows Art's body time to heal and recover from about 16 months of ongoing chemo. This last chemo regime has been quite hard on Art's body. Pain and sensitivity in his feet, hands and skin have increased, as well as swelling in his legs and feet. Fatigue is an ongoing battle, but it's amazing what he's still able to accomplish. Although the thought of going back on this chemo is not that attractive to Art due to the side effects, we know that this chemo worked to help control the cancer and this continues to be a future option in our ongoing fight.
Being that the cancer is more controlled at this point, the doctors can attack in another way with the radioactive theraspheres. These are injected directly into the liver through an arterial catheter in the groin. They will only inject the theraspheres into half of the liver--the half that has the most cancer. Because of the extent of the cancer in the liver, they have to be very careful to preserve the good tissue to keep his liver functioning as normally as possible. After one month, we will have a CT scan to evaluate the success of the treatment. Our oncologist at University of Chicago and interventional radiologist at Northwestern will then determine the best course of action. If successful, they will treat the other half of the liver, with subsequent treatments to the entire liver as it continues to prove successful. If unsuccessful, we will most likely go back to the previous chemo regime that seemed to be having some success.
The biggest side effects of this treatment will most likely be fatigue (that's nothing new!) with the possibility of nausea and abdominal pain. The risk is damage to good liver tissue, but our doctors are optimistic that this treatment could shrink the cancer.
Emotionally, I feel these past couple months have taken their toll on Art. He's simply tired--tired of going to the hospital for treatment every other week, tired of feeling tired, tired of feeling sore, tired of thinking that this will never end, tired of trying to keep his game face on when he just wants to be crabby. As I've said in the past, his attitude has been amazing--I know that he could only keep his positivity through the power of our mighty God who accomplishes more than we can ever imagine and who allows us to have joy beyond our circumstances. But I also know that he's only human, and discouragement and worry sets in. I ask that you continue to lift Art up in prayer, for both miraculous healing and emotional strength, hope and comfort. Please pray for our children--Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.--as well as myself as we sometimes struggle to find the best ways to support him as well as each other through this ongoing, difficult journey.
(Break to go home from the hospital...)
I'm finishing this blog from home, as I watch Art beginning to feel uncomfortable from the radiation. It's not a good place to be for either of us, and I have to admit that we finish this up through tears and anxiety.
The title of this blog post is "Something New". Although something new can bring hope, it can also bring fear. I think we all can relate to that. When you live with cancer, you are constantly battling fear of the unknown, fear of the possibility that this may not work, fear of the possible harm the toxic substances being put into your body could do, etc. We are brought to our knees again, searching for promises that will comfort us as fear creeps in. Right now I just need to be reminded that our omnipotent, Heavenly Father, who has remained faithful to his promises in the past, who gives us strength and hope for each day, is the same Heavenly Father who goes before us and will give us what we need for each day going forward. It can't be any more clear than this--"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8) And from Isaiah 41:13, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.' "
This August 5, Art and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. 17 months ago we didn't know if we would reach this milestone and we are overwhelmed with gratitude. When you get married, you sure don't know the ups and downs in store for your married life. Although we wouldn't wish cancer on any couple, we do wish the beauty that comes from a far deeper appreciation of sharing your life, your faith, and your children with your best friend.
As we move into the summer months, we hope for many fear-less moments of joy and laughter and new, beautiful memories with family and friends, for many moments where Art is feeling strong and energetic, for moments filled with love and hope, for moments where we can truly enjoy each other and this incredible world God has blessed us with. We hope those things for all of you as well. And, of course, we hope for healing!
Praying for strength for each day and bright hope for tomorrow!
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Sunday, April 13, 2014
An Eventful Few Weeks
"Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, we turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, we long for You
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away
Hosanna, hosanna!
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises!"
We just had to share the words of a praise song that lifted our spirits this morning as we worshipped with our church family for Palm Sunday. The lyrics "Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day. In Your Presence all our fears are washed away" ring so true in our lives right now and it is only right that we start this blog post giving praise and thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father who is our strength and our hope and whose faithfulness never ends!
Since our last blog post, we have had an eventful few weeks. First of all, we spent a fantastic vacation in California with my brother, sister, sister-in-law and nieces and nephews and we absorbed some much needed sunshine. Olivia enjoyed part of that week with her music department from Glenbard East. She had a wonderful experience and we are grateful that she did not experience any seizures on this trip!
As you know, during this trip we went to City of Hope for a second opinion. The Doctor affirmed all of the treatment Art has received thus far, and said that our Doctor at University of Chicago has been very aggressive with the treatment (which we really liked to hear). We were reminded again of the extent of the cancer throughout Art's liver and the limitations of further treatment, however we did talk about options going forward.
The City of Hope Doctor recommended that we pursue a treatment in which radioactive beads would be "injected" directly into the liver. The correct terminology is a catheter directed radio-ablation of liver tumors. (Oh yeah, we're getting pretty good with the medical terms!) He also said that the best place we can go for treatment is right in our backyard--Northwestern University Medical Center! Little did he know that Art's cousin, Karl Vos, had mentioned a discussion he had with a Doctor at Northwestern just days before we left for California who was having success with this particular treatment. This Doctor was in fact part of the same team that the doctor at City of Hope recommended. Wow! Karl helped us to get a consult the week we returned from California (it does help to have the same last name!) and we have the ball in motion to progress with this treatment hopefully. The doctor is very encouraged that Art will be a candidate for this so we ask you to pray for this process of determination and the details and tests which need to be addressed before it can begin.
We left this meeting feeling encouraged. This feeling was much needed as Art was having a few rough days on the current chemo. The Doctor at Northwestern in fact said that with further chemo treatments, they would become more toxic to his body. Art has definitely felt this and so that you are not surprised the next time you see him, we're letting you know that he has finally lost his hair. This came as a bit of a shock yesterday morning as his hair began to come out in clumps. Although Art has always said losing his hair would be no big deal, it's an "in your face" reminder of the battle going on inside and it definitely took us by surprise.
We will continue to pursue other chemo options as well with our oncologist at University of Chicago. We will finish the current treatment plan with two more cycles and a scan most likely in May.
This past week we also remembered the 1-year anniversary of when our dear friend Mark Dykema graduated to glory. We had the opportunity to honor Mark and give glory to God for his life with Mark's family and friends. With tears and laughter, we were reminded of the example Mark gave us for "How to Live with Cancer". For Mark, it wasn't about him. It was all about the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father who gives life--eternal life--so that even though the earthly battle with cancer was lost, the war was ultimately won and now he lives cancer-free in the presence of our Almighty God.
As Christians, we move into Holy Week where we remember the events leading up to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We realize that not all of our readers are Christians, but we truly hope that all of our readers feel the incredible presence and love of a God who will never leave us alone to fight our earthly battles, whatever they may be. Any strength that we have in this battle with cancer we know comes from Above, as well as through all of you being the hands and feet of Christ as you support us along the way.
God bless each of you. You have blessed us.
Praying for strength for each day, and bright hope for tomorrow!
With much love and thanks,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, we long for You
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away
Hosanna, hosanna!
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises!"
We just had to share the words of a praise song that lifted our spirits this morning as we worshipped with our church family for Palm Sunday. The lyrics "Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day. In Your Presence all our fears are washed away" ring so true in our lives right now and it is only right that we start this blog post giving praise and thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father who is our strength and our hope and whose faithfulness never ends!
Since our last blog post, we have had an eventful few weeks. First of all, we spent a fantastic vacation in California with my brother, sister, sister-in-law and nieces and nephews and we absorbed some much needed sunshine. Olivia enjoyed part of that week with her music department from Glenbard East. She had a wonderful experience and we are grateful that she did not experience any seizures on this trip!
As you know, during this trip we went to City of Hope for a second opinion. The Doctor affirmed all of the treatment Art has received thus far, and said that our Doctor at University of Chicago has been very aggressive with the treatment (which we really liked to hear). We were reminded again of the extent of the cancer throughout Art's liver and the limitations of further treatment, however we did talk about options going forward.
The City of Hope Doctor recommended that we pursue a treatment in which radioactive beads would be "injected" directly into the liver. The correct terminology is a catheter directed radio-ablation of liver tumors. (Oh yeah, we're getting pretty good with the medical terms!) He also said that the best place we can go for treatment is right in our backyard--Northwestern University Medical Center! Little did he know that Art's cousin, Karl Vos, had mentioned a discussion he had with a Doctor at Northwestern just days before we left for California who was having success with this particular treatment. This Doctor was in fact part of the same team that the doctor at City of Hope recommended. Wow! Karl helped us to get a consult the week we returned from California (it does help to have the same last name!) and we have the ball in motion to progress with this treatment hopefully. The doctor is very encouraged that Art will be a candidate for this so we ask you to pray for this process of determination and the details and tests which need to be addressed before it can begin.
We left this meeting feeling encouraged. This feeling was much needed as Art was having a few rough days on the current chemo. The Doctor at Northwestern in fact said that with further chemo treatments, they would become more toxic to his body. Art has definitely felt this and so that you are not surprised the next time you see him, we're letting you know that he has finally lost his hair. This came as a bit of a shock yesterday morning as his hair began to come out in clumps. Although Art has always said losing his hair would be no big deal, it's an "in your face" reminder of the battle going on inside and it definitely took us by surprise.
We will continue to pursue other chemo options as well with our oncologist at University of Chicago. We will finish the current treatment plan with two more cycles and a scan most likely in May.
This past week we also remembered the 1-year anniversary of when our dear friend Mark Dykema graduated to glory. We had the opportunity to honor Mark and give glory to God for his life with Mark's family and friends. With tears and laughter, we were reminded of the example Mark gave us for "How to Live with Cancer". For Mark, it wasn't about him. It was all about the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father who gives life--eternal life--so that even though the earthly battle with cancer was lost, the war was ultimately won and now he lives cancer-free in the presence of our Almighty God.
As Christians, we move into Holy Week where we remember the events leading up to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We realize that not all of our readers are Christians, but we truly hope that all of our readers feel the incredible presence and love of a God who will never leave us alone to fight our earthly battles, whatever they may be. Any strength that we have in this battle with cancer we know comes from Above, as well as through all of you being the hands and feet of Christ as you support us along the way.
God bless each of you. You have blessed us.
Praying for strength for each day, and bright hope for tomorrow!
With much love and thanks,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Living Between Agony and Beauty
I wish I had better news to share with all of you today. I'll get right to the point. Art's scan on Friday revealed growth in the tumors in the liver. His blood work also revealed another significant rise in his tumor markers. The doctor explained that the tumor markers are an indicator of future aggressive cancer activity. The most recent chemo treatment regimes were not successful in shrinking the cancer, although the doctor believes it was still effective in restricting it's growth. However, these tests indicate that the cancer is becoming resistant to the various types of chemo's. Since Art's diagnosis, he has received 4 different types of chemo combinations. We are beginning to run out of chemo options that they know can be effective on this type of cancer.
The path of our treatment and progression of the cancer has been exactly as our doctor said it would be. With each different chemo treatment, the effectiveness decreases. We have been very fortunate that the cancer initially responded to treatment. Art has recently surpassed the average life expectancy of his prognosis. The doctor reminds us of this and we are grateful. But, of course, in the hearts and minds of those of us who share our lives with Art, this isn't good enough and we want more time.
Art and I love to watch a TV show called Parenthood (I know some of our readers love it too). The recent episode where Christina received a cancer-free diagnosis brought me and Art to tears. We long to hear those words. But, from the beginning the doctor told us this would not be our path. We asked all of you to pray for more than what medical research predicts. And we still ask that you pray for a miracle.
This past year has given us the opportunity to "live with cancer". A life with cancer is about living between agony and beauty. Every good moment seems more beautiful than before cancer, because we are acutely aware how quickly this could be taken away. But we also live with the agony of knowing the direction this could very well be headed, and the pain we may have to look forward to. We live with agony when we wait for upcoming scans and results. I live with agony when I see the beautiful love shared between Art and the kids and dread the thought of that being taken away.
We also realize that there are those who live with agony every day, and may not experience the beauty we have felt living with cancer. Cancer often brings out the best in others, it heals relationships, it gives people an opportunity to share their generosity and love and we are the recipients, it makes us express our love more freely, it makes us and others appreciate the wonderful things in life even more. There are other challenges people face that may not bring out the beautiful side--life with chronic pain, life with depression, life with a constant medical battle like epilepsy or diabetes, life with addiction, life with heartache, etc. We hope that this journey is making us more keenly aware of the pain that others deal with on a daily basis. I saw a quote the other day, "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." An important thought we are trying to remember.
We have also been awakened to the idea that God's love and redemption for this world is not just through our fellow Christians. He has demonstrated His unbelievable love and goodness to us through people of all faiths and backgrounds--Atheists, Hindu's, Protestants, Catholics, and those who really don't know what to believe. Once again we find ourselves humbled at the lessons God is teaching us in this journey.
Art will start a new chemo cocktail tomorrow. At our previous doctor visit, the doctor recommended that we may want to consider a second opinion at this point. We began to think more about that, and in talking with some friends of ours, Pete and Cheryl Jokich, we began to look into City of Hope, a strictly cancer hospital in Los Angeles. They graciously connected us with the right people to quickly set up an appointment while we are in California visiting my brother's family for Spring Break. After this latest disappointing news, we feel this is good timing to be gaining more insight into treatment for Art's cancer. Please pray that we would gain clarity, and not confusion, as a result of this meeting.
We've taken a break from a lot of things--we stepped off of some of the volunteer opportunities and extra-curricular activities we have been a part of. This allows us more time to "Be Still". Not only for healing, but for God to step in with surprises. Whether it be a time for moments with our kids, a fun-filled activity, a nap, a meet-up with friends, or simply quiet time to reflect and cry, we are giving space for God to move in whatever way He deems best for us at this time. We highly recommend it--cancer or no cancer!
We knew this was going to be a heavy blog post. We don't want to leave you with an image of us living in sorrow or giving up. Five minutes after this past doctor appointment, Art was saying things to make me smile and that same night we enjoyed laughs (and tears) at a family dinner with Art's siblings. We are still living with cancer, not dying from cancer. And that involves a lot of joy!
So, in honor of Art's wonderful sense of humor that so many appreciate, we decided to brainstorm and leave you with the "Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer". We hope you can take this list lightly and laugh with us (no judgment please--life's just too short to judge!)
Please be aware this list is PG-13--there may be some sex and drug references. :)
Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer
10. You can say whatever you feel, and people let it go. "It's probably all that medication."
9. You are never asked to help anyone move, and people snow-blow for you! What a winter for that benefit!
8. Best excuse EVER for not working out.
7. You get told how great you look all the time. (In Art's case, he hasn't lost his hair, and he has a permanent chemo-tan.)
6. You can make up cool names for yourself like "Chemo-Sabe". Yes, Art picked that name out for himself.
5. For married folks, you can basically get "it" (you know what I'm talking about) whenever you want it.
4. First in line for medical marijuana. (Thanks State of Illinois!)
3. You can get out of basically any social function you don't want to attend. "You know, he's just not feeling up to it."
2. No one faults you for taking a nap whenever you want.
1. You get really great birthday gifts because people think it's your last one! (By the way, Art's birthday is April 3.)
As always, your love, support and kindness continue to overwhelm us, and we know, without us asking, that you will continue to fervently pray for us.
Praying for strength for each day, and bright hope for tomorrow.
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
The path of our treatment and progression of the cancer has been exactly as our doctor said it would be. With each different chemo treatment, the effectiveness decreases. We have been very fortunate that the cancer initially responded to treatment. Art has recently surpassed the average life expectancy of his prognosis. The doctor reminds us of this and we are grateful. But, of course, in the hearts and minds of those of us who share our lives with Art, this isn't good enough and we want more time.
Art and I love to watch a TV show called Parenthood (I know some of our readers love it too). The recent episode where Christina received a cancer-free diagnosis brought me and Art to tears. We long to hear those words. But, from the beginning the doctor told us this would not be our path. We asked all of you to pray for more than what medical research predicts. And we still ask that you pray for a miracle.
This past year has given us the opportunity to "live with cancer". A life with cancer is about living between agony and beauty. Every good moment seems more beautiful than before cancer, because we are acutely aware how quickly this could be taken away. But we also live with the agony of knowing the direction this could very well be headed, and the pain we may have to look forward to. We live with agony when we wait for upcoming scans and results. I live with agony when I see the beautiful love shared between Art and the kids and dread the thought of that being taken away.
We also realize that there are those who live with agony every day, and may not experience the beauty we have felt living with cancer. Cancer often brings out the best in others, it heals relationships, it gives people an opportunity to share their generosity and love and we are the recipients, it makes us express our love more freely, it makes us and others appreciate the wonderful things in life even more. There are other challenges people face that may not bring out the beautiful side--life with chronic pain, life with depression, life with a constant medical battle like epilepsy or diabetes, life with addiction, life with heartache, etc. We hope that this journey is making us more keenly aware of the pain that others deal with on a daily basis. I saw a quote the other day, "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." An important thought we are trying to remember.
We have also been awakened to the idea that God's love and redemption for this world is not just through our fellow Christians. He has demonstrated His unbelievable love and goodness to us through people of all faiths and backgrounds--Atheists, Hindu's, Protestants, Catholics, and those who really don't know what to believe. Once again we find ourselves humbled at the lessons God is teaching us in this journey.
Art will start a new chemo cocktail tomorrow. At our previous doctor visit, the doctor recommended that we may want to consider a second opinion at this point. We began to think more about that, and in talking with some friends of ours, Pete and Cheryl Jokich, we began to look into City of Hope, a strictly cancer hospital in Los Angeles. They graciously connected us with the right people to quickly set up an appointment while we are in California visiting my brother's family for Spring Break. After this latest disappointing news, we feel this is good timing to be gaining more insight into treatment for Art's cancer. Please pray that we would gain clarity, and not confusion, as a result of this meeting.
We've taken a break from a lot of things--we stepped off of some of the volunteer opportunities and extra-curricular activities we have been a part of. This allows us more time to "Be Still". Not only for healing, but for God to step in with surprises. Whether it be a time for moments with our kids, a fun-filled activity, a nap, a meet-up with friends, or simply quiet time to reflect and cry, we are giving space for God to move in whatever way He deems best for us at this time. We highly recommend it--cancer or no cancer!
We knew this was going to be a heavy blog post. We don't want to leave you with an image of us living in sorrow or giving up. Five minutes after this past doctor appointment, Art was saying things to make me smile and that same night we enjoyed laughs (and tears) at a family dinner with Art's siblings. We are still living with cancer, not dying from cancer. And that involves a lot of joy!
So, in honor of Art's wonderful sense of humor that so many appreciate, we decided to brainstorm and leave you with the "Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer". We hope you can take this list lightly and laugh with us (no judgment please--life's just too short to judge!)
Please be aware this list is PG-13--there may be some sex and drug references. :)
Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer
10. You can say whatever you feel, and people let it go. "It's probably all that medication."
9. You are never asked to help anyone move, and people snow-blow for you! What a winter for that benefit!
8. Best excuse EVER for not working out.
7. You get told how great you look all the time. (In Art's case, he hasn't lost his hair, and he has a permanent chemo-tan.)
6. You can make up cool names for yourself like "Chemo-Sabe". Yes, Art picked that name out for himself.
5. For married folks, you can basically get "it" (you know what I'm talking about) whenever you want it.
4. First in line for medical marijuana. (Thanks State of Illinois!)
3. You can get out of basically any social function you don't want to attend. "You know, he's just not feeling up to it."
2. No one faults you for taking a nap whenever you want.
1. You get really great birthday gifts because people think it's your last one! (By the way, Art's birthday is April 3.)
As always, your love, support and kindness continue to overwhelm us, and we know, without us asking, that you will continue to fervently pray for us.
Praying for strength for each day, and bright hope for tomorrow.
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Friday, January 3, 2014
The Battle Continues
This will be a brief update to inform our friends and the many who are supporting us in love and prayer about the results of the scan today. The scan revealed that the tumors are still relatively stable--some have shrunk a little and some have grown a little. However, the tumor markers in Art's blood are increasing. We are still trying to understand the nature of tumor markers, even after the Doctor's explanation today. What we do know is that tumor markers indicate a level of cancer activity in the body. When Art was first diagnosed, these markers were very high and they reduced dramatically after initial treatment. However, they are beginning to climb again and the doctor feels strongly that we need to try and regain control of this.
Art will begin new treatment next week which will add a fourth chemotherapy to his regime. He will continue receiving treatment every other week for four cycles, at which time we will have another scan to determine if it's working. Unfortunately we know the side effects will most likely increase during this treatment phase.
We have to admit that this was not the news we were hoping for. But, we still have hope for healing and we are trying to remain optimistic.
We continue to covet your prayers for healing. We are thankful that there are different options for attacking this cancer. We are thankful that we have such wonderful medical facilities so close to home. We are thankful that we have all of you to share our news with, knowing you will pray and support us. We are thankful for the assurance that God is holding on to us through this.
We leave you with a couple of verses that mean so much to us. From Lamentations 3--"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. They are new every morning. Great is your Faithfulness!"
And from Philippians 4: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ."
Praying for strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love,
Kris (and Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
Art will begin new treatment next week which will add a fourth chemotherapy to his regime. He will continue receiving treatment every other week for four cycles, at which time we will have another scan to determine if it's working. Unfortunately we know the side effects will most likely increase during this treatment phase.
We have to admit that this was not the news we were hoping for. But, we still have hope for healing and we are trying to remain optimistic.
We continue to covet your prayers for healing. We are thankful that there are different options for attacking this cancer. We are thankful that we have such wonderful medical facilities so close to home. We are thankful that we have all of you to share our news with, knowing you will pray and support us. We are thankful for the assurance that God is holding on to us through this.
We leave you with a couple of verses that mean so much to us. From Lamentations 3--"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. They are new every morning. Great is your Faithfulness!"
And from Philippians 4: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ."
Praying for strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.
With much love,
Kris (and Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
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