I wish I had better news to share with all of you today. I'll get right to the point. Art's scan on Friday revealed growth in the tumors in the liver. His blood work also revealed another significant rise in his tumor markers. The doctor explained that the tumor markers are an indicator of future aggressive cancer activity. The most recent chemo treatment regimes were not successful in shrinking the cancer, although the doctor believes it was still effective in restricting it's growth. However, these tests indicate that the cancer is becoming resistant to the various types of chemo's. Since Art's diagnosis, he has received 4 different types of chemo combinations. We are beginning to run out of chemo options that they know can be effective on this type of cancer.
The path of our treatment and progression of the cancer has been exactly as our doctor said it would be. With each different chemo treatment, the effectiveness decreases. We have been very fortunate that the cancer initially responded to treatment. Art has recently surpassed the average life expectancy of his prognosis. The doctor reminds us of this and we are grateful. But, of course, in the hearts and minds of those of us who share our lives with Art, this isn't good enough and we want more time.
Art and I love to watch a TV show called Parenthood (I know some of our readers love it too). The recent episode where Christina received a cancer-free diagnosis brought me and Art to tears. We long to hear those words. But, from the beginning the doctor told us this would not be our path. We asked all of you to pray for more than what medical research predicts. And we still ask that you pray for a miracle.
This past year has given us the opportunity to "live with cancer". A life with cancer is about living between agony and beauty. Every good moment seems more beautiful than before cancer, because we are acutely aware how quickly this could be taken away. But we also live with the agony of knowing the direction this could very well be headed, and the pain we may have to look forward to. We live with agony when we wait for upcoming scans and results. I live with agony when I see the beautiful love shared between Art and the kids and dread the thought of that being taken away.
We also realize that there are those who live with agony every day, and may not experience the beauty we have felt living with cancer. Cancer often brings out the best in others, it heals relationships, it gives people an opportunity to share their generosity and love and we are the recipients, it makes us express our love more freely, it makes us and others appreciate the wonderful things in life even more. There are other challenges people face that may not bring out the beautiful side--life with chronic pain, life with depression, life with a constant medical battle like epilepsy or diabetes, life with addiction, life with heartache, etc. We hope that this journey is making us more keenly aware of the pain that others deal with on a daily basis. I saw a quote the other day, "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." An important thought we are trying to remember.
We have also been awakened to the idea that God's love and redemption for this world is not just through our fellow Christians. He has demonstrated His unbelievable love and goodness to us through people of all faiths and backgrounds--Atheists, Hindu's, Protestants, Catholics, and those who really don't know what to believe. Once again we find ourselves humbled at the lessons God is teaching us in this journey.
Art will start a new chemo cocktail tomorrow. At our previous doctor visit, the doctor recommended that we may want to consider a second opinion at this point. We began to think more about that, and in talking with some friends of ours, Pete and Cheryl Jokich, we began to look into City of Hope, a strictly cancer hospital in Los Angeles. They graciously connected us with the right people to quickly set up an appointment while we are in California visiting my brother's family for Spring Break. After this latest disappointing news, we feel this is good timing to be gaining more insight into treatment for Art's cancer. Please pray that we would gain clarity, and not confusion, as a result of this meeting.
We've taken a break from a lot of things--we stepped off of some of the volunteer opportunities and extra-curricular activities we have been a part of. This allows us more time to "Be Still". Not only for healing, but for God to step in with surprises. Whether it be a time for moments with our kids, a fun-filled activity, a nap, a meet-up with friends, or simply quiet time to reflect and cry, we are giving space for God to move in whatever way He deems best for us at this time. We highly recommend it--cancer or no cancer!
We knew this was going to be a heavy blog post. We don't want to leave you with an image of us living in sorrow or giving up. Five minutes after this past doctor appointment, Art was saying things to make me smile and that same night we enjoyed laughs (and tears) at a family dinner with Art's siblings. We are still living with cancer, not dying from cancer. And that involves a lot of joy!
So, in honor of Art's wonderful sense of humor that so many appreciate, we decided to brainstorm and leave you with the "Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer". We hope you can take this list lightly and laugh with us (no judgment please--life's just too short to judge!)
Please be aware this list is PG-13--there may be some sex and drug references. :)
Top Ten Benefits of Having Cancer
10. You can say whatever you feel, and people let it go. "It's probably all that medication."
9. You are never asked to help anyone move, and people snow-blow for you! What a winter for that benefit!
8. Best excuse EVER for not working out.
7. You get told how great you look all the time. (In Art's case, he hasn't lost his hair, and he has a permanent chemo-tan.)
6. You can make up cool names for yourself like "Chemo-Sabe". Yes, Art picked that name out for himself.
5. For married folks, you can basically get "it" (you know what I'm talking about) whenever you want it.
4. First in line for medical marijuana. (Thanks State of Illinois!)
3. You can get out of basically any social function you don't want to attend. "You know, he's just not feeling up to it."
2. No one faults you for taking a nap whenever you want.
1. You get really great birthday gifts because people think it's your last one! (By the way, Art's birthday is April 3.)
As always, your love, support and kindness continue to overwhelm us, and we know, without us asking, that you will continue to fervently pray for us.
Praying for strength for each day, and bright hope for tomorrow.
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and A.J.)
