Many of you who read this may already know that our friend, and Art's partner in the battle against cancer--Mark Dykema--passed away last week. Mark and Art envisioned beating this monster together, and celebrating together. We had some great plans for celebrating. But that didn't happen. Art and I would like to dedicate this blog post to Mark and Diane and to their kids. In the last few months we have developed a rare bond with this precious family, and the impact they have had on our lives is very hard to put into words. I'd like to try and share a few ways Mark has and will continue to influence our journey.
A few years ago, I read to our daughter Makenzie a bible verse at her Profession of Faith church service. This verse was to be a "gift" that we were asked to share at the end of an 8-month mentoring process. The verse I chose was Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." At the time, that verse was becoming so real to me as we faced a variety of struggles in our family's life. I wanted Makenzie to realize that in our lives we can present all our requests to God. But I also wanted her to know that the verse doesn't promise we will get the answer we want--instead it assures us of the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds. I also hoped for her that even in the middle of difficult circumstances, she could have a thankful heart.
The reason I share this with you is because after the service was over, Mark Dykema came up to me and said that I had given his favorite verse to Makenzie. Little did I know that a few years later I would be watching Mark live out so much of what this verse means to me. After they were diagnosed, Mark and Art were each given a prayer blanket by our dear friend on which people could write prayers and blessings. Our families each gave each other this same verse on the blanket.
I guess this verse represents what I will remember most about Mark as he battled cancer. He modeled a thankful heart about even the smallest blessings he and his family were experiencing and he shared those blessings so that others could give thanks with him. And, although I know there were many moments of anxiety as he heard more and more difficult news, he continued to present his requests and fears to his Heavenly Father, believing and trusting in a love and in a plan much bigger than our human hearts and minds can comprehend. Mark had a positive spirit through the journey, which rubbed off on those fortunate enough to be around him and/or read his blog. And Mark's ultimate request was that God would be glorified through this, and He was...He was!
Mark expressed that he questioned why both he and Art, two friends who are both in the same small group at church, would be fighting cancer together. He said he wanted to ask God about that some day. Well Mark, you've probably received your answer to that already, but in our case, Art and I knew the answer right away. You and Diane were a gift to us as we started the cancer journey.
The evening after Art was diagnosed, Mark and Diane came over with the rest of our small group to comfort, support and pray with us. Mark and Diane just honestly laid out some of their experiences for us and helped to calm our fears. They said the first couple of weeks are horrible as the bad news is processed and you get thrown into medical terms and doctor visits. But, they also said it would get better and we would fall into a routine and it wouldn't seem as scary. They were right.
Mark also said that after a few weeks we would come to a crossroads about how we were going to choose to live this journey. I don't remember all of his exact words, but I think the gist of it was this--We can choose to live this with fear and anxiety about what each step would bring, which is a pretty difficult way to live. Or, we can choose to live it with peace in our hearts no matter what the outcome, trusting in a plan that is so much bigger than us, and believing in God's grace and mercy that allows blessings to flow out of trials and sorrow. Mark felt blessed and experienced joy and peace in the journey! Those aren't my words, those are Mark's words and I encourage you to read his blog which in the final days of Mark's life was completed by his son Ben. Here's the link if you haven't read it...
http://www.mdykemaupdate.blogspot.com/
I think the best way that our family can honor Mark's memory and our gratitude to him and his family is to follow the beautiful example he set. We're going to try. I'm not going to lie--cancer is horrible and I know Mark and Diane would whole-heartedly agree with that point. I'm not trying to idealize the cancer journey. The fact that Mark is no longer with us on this earth, and more importantly not with his beautiful family, is heartbreaking. But, Mark's joy and steadfast belief in a loving Creator, Father and Savior, and a perfect life beyond this world....well,....it gives us all hope.
One of the phrases that our Pastor shared in Mark's memorial service was "God doesn't want to be a part of your life. He IS life." That's always going to stick with me. It's easy to compartmentalize your life, and even put your "religion" or "faith" into a box that you take out when you need it. But that's not enough. Mark's faith permeated every aspect of his life. Unfortunately it often takes something like this to force us into that type of constant communion with God, in which every thought, every decision, every action reflects that relationship and ultimately the heart of God. Again, never perfectly. But, thank goodness His love and patience and forgiveness is so much greater than our shortcomings.
I ask for your continued prayers for the Dykema family as they grieve and painfully adjust to life without a husband and father. And in true "Mark format" I ask you to join with us in giving thanks for the following:
- That our lives have been made better by men like Mark and my brother-in-law Jim, who have taught us so much about living, even in dying.
- That Art's cancer seems to be responding and the side effects have been controlled enough for him to receive two more treatments before a scan later in May. (Gotta admit, we are having trouble being positive about two more chemo treatments, but we know this is a good thing.)
- That our friend Chris's cancer is responding positively to his treatment!
- That we will be celebrating another milestone for our daughter Olivia on May 12--2 years seizure free!!! We will be walking again in the Epilepsy Foundation of Chicago 5K on Saturday, May 11, to celebrate. We would love to have you join our team "Livvi Lu's Crew", and walk with us. Here's the link:
- That Mark and Jim ultimately won the war and now live a disease-free life in the presence of our Almighty God and Loving Father, and they will be waiting to greet us with open arms when we arrive some day.
- That we have family and friends and faith to help get us through every day.
- That we have this promise, which was written on Art and Mark's solidarity armbands--"Psalm 23--The Lord is my Shepherd. I have everything that I need."
With much love and gratitude,
Kris (on behalf of Art, Makenzie, Olivia and AJ)
So beautifully written. We are praying for you, Art and the whole family. Love ya,
ReplyDeleteKris Kok and family
God Is Always with us.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You Art, Kris and Family.
Thinking and Praying for You all.
John Iwema